The holidays are usually a time of immense joy and expectation. People travel to visit loved ones or prepare themselves for hosting and parties. They spend time and energy, as well as gobs of money, buying presents for one another. Some people spend the whole year looking forward to the days and weeks leading up to the Christmas season.
However, for those who can sense that their marriage is no longer working properly, the holidays can be an incredibly stressful time. You may have to grin and bear it while dealing with your spouse, as well as their extended family. Between get-togethers and traveling, you will likely need to spend a lot more time with your spouse, which can increase the strain on your union.
Many people choose not to divorce until after the holidays have passed for a variety of reasons. If you believe that your marriage has reached a turning point and may no longer be salvageable, make a plan to help yourself get through the holidays without lying to your spouse or compromising your own dignity.
Focus on the kids during the holidays
One of the best ways to avoid allowing the stress and emotions of the holidays to impair your decision-making is to keep the focus solely on your children. After all, the holidays are as much about the joy of young ones as they are about the familial bonding that occurs among adults. You certainly don't want to let your marriage issues impact the holiday fun of your family.
You may even choose to let your spouse know that you think you need to address the issues in your marriage after the holiday, so long as you can both focus on the children for the rest of the calendar year. If you are no longer getting along well, you could agree to only give gifts to the children instead of one another. You might also contemplate whether attempting couples therapy after the holidays might be a way to salvage your marriage.
Start planning now for your fresh start
While it is likely that you want to get through the holidays without totally focusing on the end of your marriage, that doesn't mean you should ignore reality. If your marriage really is beyond saving, the stress of the holidays can often make things even worse.
Angry fights, bad decisions and family get-togethers can all compound existing problems between you and your spouse. Taking the time to document the issues you experience as they arise can help you start developing a strategy for your impending divorce. It is possible to make it through the holidays happily and still take steps to improve your life by planning to leave an unhealthy marriage behind you.